I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
