forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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