dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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