K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
