shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize