just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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