Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros, bitch!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
