Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize