sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
