Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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