Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
