Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
