All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
