My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
