She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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