ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
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probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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