Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
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We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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