I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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