Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
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He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
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There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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