Me too!
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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