When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
