Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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