She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
