I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
