best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
