You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
