May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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