Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
