my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize