I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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