I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
