Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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