omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
