Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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