i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
