you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
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I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
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After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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