yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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