How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
