I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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