it hurts more in the daytime
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
