Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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