i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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