this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
