Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize