careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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