She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
