everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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