Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
