What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
