Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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