I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
