put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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