Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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