My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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