I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
