It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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