You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
