So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
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is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
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I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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